Think You Can’t Do Something?
Think again.
Think you can’t do something that you would really like to do?
Perhaps due to your age, or for some other reason?
Life is short. Today (which is the only day that we know for sure that we have) is a good day to change from thinking that you can’t do something, to heck yes, you can!
I know. It sounds so simple, but sometimes you need to hear the same message over and over again before it begins to really sink in. I know I do.
Think you can’t do something?
Yes, you can!
You can do anything you want to do. Don’t limit yourself.
For me, I will add, within reason of course, due to my age. After all, I can’t run a long grueling marathon (actually I never did), or do two thousand sit-ups. I mean who would want to do that anyway?
There are just some physical things that I can’t, and might I add, don’t want to do. Period.
But that’s where it ends.
When it comes to starting a business that you’ve always wanted to start, or learning a new skill or language, writing a book, tandem skydiving, or adventuring around in some other country, you can do it at any age.
I changed my thinking and did all those things and more. And more importantly, I continue to do whatever I want to do.
- Learned to play the guitar, and even learned to read music. I’m also planning on taking piano lessons soon.
- Wrote several books. The first one was a children’s book about Nigeria, published by a traditional publisher, and the last one is about Moving to Ghana, the Essential Things You Need to Know which I self-published in 2018. I am currently working on yet another book.
- Parachuted out of a plane over San Diego at an altitude of 12,500 just to overcome my fear of heights. I almost chickened out when the instructor asked me if I had taken the brief pre-jump training. I hadn’t. But hey, I figured I was securely strapped to him so he had a vested interest in making sure that the jump was successful. Besides, I was already stepping into the aircraft.
- Adventured in and around Ghana and Nigeria for several years after retiring early so that I could do whatever I wanted to do. Senegal is on my radar. In fact, I now live part-time abroad.
Want to know my age?
I’m in my 60s.
The moral of the story
Don’t let anyone or anything stop you from doing what you want to do, whether you are in your 20s or 90s, or somewhere in between.
Come on now. We only have this one life to live. So live.
The key is to start little by little. Like the African (Kenyan) proverb goes, little by little, the bird builds its nest.
Go out there and start doing what you want to do.
On a personal note, like the bird, I’ve started my newsletter, little by little. It’s all about three of my favorite things to do. Reading, writing and helping others improve their writing, all with a good dose of encouragement thrown in.
If this sounds good to you, then go ahead subscribe to my weekly newsletter and let’s keep in touch!
Stop Doing These 13 Things and Start Feeling Better About Yourself Today
Navigating this world and these times is not easy especially when there’s so much pressure to conform
Conforming to expectations of others.
And along with all this conforming comes a chipping away of self value.
Each generation faces its own unique set of challenges, but one thing remains the same, no matter the generation.
No matter the time.
No matter the place,
To be truly happy and content in life you have to stay true to who you are.
I know. Sounds cliche, but that does not make it any less true.
You need to hear it.
And it is not enough for you to just say it.
You have to live it.
Especially if you have been made to feel “less than” or not good enough.
This is especially true for Black, Brown, Poor and Marginalized people, including women in many parts of world.
To feel happier and be stronger within, it’s imperative that you do not devalue yourself in a futile attempt to live up to the expectations of others.
Check out these 13 things that people do that undermine who they are. If you are doing any of them, stop doing them today.
Here are 13 Things to stop doing now so you can start feeling better about yourself
- Thinking the way of others is inherently better. All other ways we devalue ourselves follows from this one.
- Pursuing and adopting the values and ways of life of others and relegating our value and culture as second class.
- Dismissing our own history and incorporating the history of others. Their stories and experiences are now more credible than our own.
- Striving to conform to the physical standards and ideals of others to the point that we do not even see the beauty in ourselves.
- Placing more importance on the lives of others, with the result that somehow their lives are more important than ours.
- Choosing to remain uneducated in a world that offers so much free information.
- Failing to take responsibility for our actions and waiting for others to rescue us, while at the same time, not supporting those within us who can help. And then when things don’t work out, we begin to see ourselves as victims.
- Doing whatever it takes to make ourselves accepted by others, even if it means an erosion of self-respect.
- Trading who we are for who we are not.
- Failing to take care of our most vulnerable, our young people and our elders.
- Having children and abandoning them financially and emotionally.
- Continuing to be conspicuous consumers and not providing a foundation of education, financial literacy and wealth building strategies to our future generations.
- Failing to have a written will and other instructions in place for our families when we die.
Eliminate these behaviors and we will all be stronger, happier and more successful people.
Here are two other articles you may be interested in reading: https://maryoluonye.theredsunflower.com/will-cosmetic-surgery-make-you-happier/ and https://maryoluonye.theredsunflower.com/skin-bleaching-is-a-symptom-of-a-deeper-problem/
Racist Treatment of Africans and Indians During the Crisis in Ukraine
The Slow Coverage by Western Media
I’m not under any illusions about the racist implications concerning the treatment of Africans, Indians and others in Ukraine, and Western media’s slow response in covering their stories too.
What’s happening in the Ukraine is, without a doubt, appalling and senseless. All this fighting and killing and for what?
In the big picture, what is there to be gained?
But that is not the point of this post.
Glaring disrespect
The point of this post is the glaring disregard, disrespect and racism that we’ve all now witnessed where it comes to the lives of Black and Brown people in a war zone. In Ukraine.
Or anywhere else, for that matter.
I know, I know. Of course, not all Ukranians are disrespectful or racist, but here’s the thing; a significant number of Ukranians in positions of authority, or in positions that can affect the safety or future of other people (Black and Brown ) did display such behavior.
Why was Western media so slow to report on what was happening to stranded Africans, Indians and other Nationals in Ukraine?
News of the Ukraine-Russia conflict has been relentless, yet with all that coverage, I hadn’t heard anything regarding the treatment of Africans, Indians, and other people stranded in Ukraine.
It wasn’t until I happened to catch a discussion on BBC between Matthew Amroliwala and BBC’s South Asia Editor, Lipika Pelham, that I learned of what was happening to Black and Brown people in Ukraine.
And then came the numerous videos filmed by Africans and Indians who were being pushed aside by Ukranian guards, told to get back, and prevented from boarding trains or buses headed to safer locations.
Not to be left out, now that there was public outrage by Africans, Indians and other Nationals, it became an important story for Western media to cover, to prove, too late, that their reporting was, and is not biased.
When it comes to Africa, corrupt leadership is partly to blame for the global disrespect of Africans
Anyway, when it comes to Africa, part of the global disrespect thrown at us is the fault of so-called African leaders who are the first to disrespect their own citizens by placing self-interest and their private bank accounts above the needs of the country and continent.
A country, a continent, and a people without competent leadership, economic power, or true independence will always land at the bottom.
Everyone else will think it is also okay to disrespect them. After all, even their own leaders don’t respect them, others can say.
So, today it’s Ukraine, tomorrow it will be some other country.
Our focus should not be about expending energy reacting to how others disrespect us. Instead, Our collective energy should be spent on ousting incompetent, useless leaders and concentrating on developing self, country and continent.
Doing so will lead to greater economic power and leverage in a world that has shown us, time and time again, that to them, Black and Brown lives are not as valuable as White lives.
#Ukraine #Africans #Indians #racism #disrespect #westernmedia
Blaxit:
Black Americans Exit America
Blaxit is the word used to describe the latest migration of Black people in America to other countries. In this article, I use the term Black people to refer to African Americans and People of African Descent.
Past migrations
This is not the first time that Black people in America have migrated en masse. After slavery in America ended in 1865, Black people moved steadily from the American south to the north.
Why? They moved because the north represented freedom from the extreme violence and oppression that continued to exist in the south after slavery.
Black people began moving in the late1800s which led to two waves of Great Migrations. By the end of the second Great Migration in 1970, six million Black people had left the south.
Ironically, Black people in America are still searching for that seemingly elusive safety and promising future.
Blaxit in a nutshell
Brexit, the term used for withdrawal of the UK from the European Union, was modified to Blaxit in 2016 by Ulysses Burley III to describe the exit of Black people from America.
Blaxit in a nutshell, is the growing movement of Black people leaving America in search of friendly, welcoming countries where it is less stressful, less racist, less violent and less murderous than America.
Where Black people are going
Some people have already decided that their new home will be in an African country and Ghana, The Gambia, South Africa, and Tanzania are some popular choices.
Others are looking to countries such as Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, Panama, and as far away as Australia and New Zealand.
Not for everyone
But Blaxiting is not for everyone. For many it’s not so clear cut. Sometimes making a choice to leave America means leaving family behind because not all family members want to leave.
Some make the heart-wrenching decision to leave anyway and resolve to return to America periodically to visit family.
And for many others, the very idea of leaving America permanently is unthinkable. They are Americans. America is their home and no one is going to make them feel like they have to leave their own country.
Blaxiting is the best option for some people, but not for others. For those who choose the Blaxit journey, the key to success is to do your research and then make the informed decision that is best for you.
America is Sick
I could not write until now. George Floyd. The pain is so deep, so raw, so devastating and so heartbreaking.
I am so hurt and so angry.
As a mother of a son, aunt to nephews, “mom” to several young men, sister to a brother, cousin to male cousins, woman to her man, and a friend of men, I cannot tell you of the anguish I feel.
We are not going to take it anymore.
Stop killing us. Stop killing our children, men and women.
I forced myself to watch Don Lemon’s program, “I Can’t Breathe: Black Men Living and Dying in America. I forced myself to watch the videos of the killings of several black men, including 10 year-old Tamir Rice, and 17 year- old Treyvon Martin.
Forced myself to watch the program to honor, in my way, George Floyd and other murdered black people at the hands of the police. I will not watch the video of George Floyd’s death ever again. I cannot. I cannot bear to hear him calling for his mother as he lay dying. I cannot. I can only pray that his mother, who died two years ago, came to him as he lay dying. I cannot watch it again. I can’t.
We are not going to take it anymore. You will stop killing our Black boys and men.
A friend of mine, Ira C. posted this on Facebook: “I vow I will never watch police kill you. On my life. That’s my love for you.”
What if we all took that vow today?
What if when we see police brutalizing an unarmed black man, or anyone for that matter, what if we refuse to accept it? What if we linked arms and approached the police peacefully and with determination and demanded that they stop the brutalization? What if we collectively made the decision to stop them from killing an unarmed, subdued human being?
They cannot shoot us all, and there will be more people. They cannot arrest all of the good people. Undertaking this strategy would require the courage and support of everyone around. It requires that we have agreed to make the vow. Because we have now seen for ourselves how unimaginably barbaric and inhumane too many police can be.
We cannot leave black boys and men alone with police. Most police are good, but some of them, too many of them, are murderous. They kill us and get away with it.
Today I have to remember that most people are good. I see that goodness in my friends and strangers. I see that goodness in the hurt, heartbreak, outrage, courage and support of young people of all races and ethnicities all over the world.
Today I am thinking of how people are reaching out from all over the world to ask, “What the hell is going on in America? Why are they killing Black men?” My African friends are outraged.
I am thinking of the sickness that is America. It seems that for some segment of white society, there is, and has always been, some kind of sick, twisted and warped fascination with, and addiction to, black people.
First of all, they (being some white people) brought enslaved Africans to the shores of what would become America. They looked at us as less than humans and more like animals. Yet they could not seem to live without us, wanting us to be near them, to take care of them. Looked at us as animals and yet lusted after our bodies. Raped women, raped men, tortured and killed men, women and children, physically and mentally. But still they had to have us.
After slavery, they wanted to keep us separated from them in their Jim Crow mindset, but at the same time, they wanted us to come in and take care of them. Take care of them and then get out. They also wanted us to come to the back door of their stores for us to give them our money.
So we left them alone. Developed our own safe places. Our own neighborhoods, businesses and towns. Successful towns. But they couldn’t leave us alone then. They could not stand to see us being successful without them. What kind of schizophrenic envy is that? So they used any excuse to come into our safe places, separate and away from them. They came to loot, maim and destroy. We left them alone because that is what they said they wanted. And they still didn’t like it. What kind of sick jealousy is that?
And by the way, when they do come to kill us, it is never 1:1. In George Floyd’s death, it was 4:1. And another thing. It is always armed versus unarmed. In George Floyd’s case, the police were armed and he was not. What kind of cowardice is that?
Fear. They are afraid of us. Why? There is no need to fear us, but they fear us, even when they outnumber us. Perhaps it’s because they judge others based on what they would do. What they don’t know is that most people do not behave like them. What kind of ignorance is that?
Yes. Some white people have a sick and obsessive addiction to black people.
And they think that they can continue to hurt us and kill us. But just so you know, we have had enough.
We have an absolute right to defend ourselves. Our sons, cousins, brothers, husbands, partners, nephews, uncles and grandparents have a right to breathe. Leave us alone.
Right now America is really sick. Ugly sick.
Hope lies in the unity of good people and in the courage and conviction of young people today.
So what are you going to do?
5 Signs That Mean You are Beginning to Panic & What You Can Do About It
1. It sneaks up on you. Like an outbreak of some disease, for instance.
You begin to become overly attuned to the news, or to the event that starts it all. Everyone is talking about it.
Your awareness slowly develops into a general sense of disquiet and anxiety, but just every now and then. Nothing major.
2. You become glued to TV Breaking News accounts, and constantly monitor rapidly changing developments.
You watch the same stories over and over again.
And then you turn to social media where you pore over credible news, articles and posts, but you also come across fake news and conspiracy theories and outright lies.
You can’t help it. You read it all.
Now your occasional anxiety is more of a constant state of being.
3. Your increasing anxiety and fear keeps rising to the point where it affects your ability to concentrate.
You are distracted and sleep is becoming a restless event.
Journalists ratchet up that feeling because they communicate their own fears across the airwaves, affecting viewers like you.
4. You are consumed by the matter, and your heightened anxiety and fear lead you to behave irrationally.
You’re in full Panic Mode.
Hoarding, aggression, selfishness, and isolation are some of the behaviors that you start noticing yourself doing.
But you don’t care.
5. It’s going to get worse before it gets better, so they say.
You feel as though it will never end.
So what’s the point? Discouragement and depression begin to creep into the picture.
You start to feel hopeless.
But Wait.
It doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to feel this way.
Here’s what you do.
- Stop everything and just breathe.
- Educate yourself on whatever is causing you to panic. Stick to credible sources only.
- Turn off, or don’t read anything else. Knowledge is power. The power to control where your thoughts take you.
- Once you’ve educated yourself, do not spend too much time revisiting the same thing.
- Continue on with your normal routine.
- Be prepared. Listen to the experts. Learn what you need to do to protect yourself. Nothing more, nothing less.
- Remember, you are not alone.
- Draw on the calming strength within you. It’s there.
By Following These Steps
You will be better prepared to confidently deal with whatever comes.
You will be more knowledgeable.
You will be less afraid.
You will get through it.
You will remain calm.
