Change Your Mindset and Start Feeling Better

Navigating this world and these times is not easy especially when there’s so much pressure to conform

Conforming to expectations of others.

And along with all this conforming comes a chipping away of self value.

Each generation faces its own unique set of challenges, but one thing remains the same, no matter the generation.

No matter the time.

No matter the place,

To be truly happy and content in life you have to stay true to who you are. 

I know. Sounds cliche, but that does not make it any less true.

You need to hear it.

And it is not enough for you to just say it.

You have to live it.

Especially if you have been made to feel “less than” or not good enough.

This is especially true for Black, Brown, Poor and Marginalized people, including women in many parts of world.

To feel happier and be stronger within, it’s imperative that you do not devalue yourself in a futile attempt to live up to the expectations of others.

Check out these 13 things that people do that undermine who they are. If you are doing any of them, stop doing them today.

Here are 13 Things to stop doing now so you can start feeling better about yourself

  1. Thinking the way of others is inherently better. All other ways we devalue ourselves follows from this one.
  2. Pursuing and adopting the values and ways of life of others and relegating our value and culture as second class.
  3. Dismissing our own history and incorporating the history of others. Their stories and experiences are now more credible than our own.
  4. Striving to conform to the physical standards and ideals of others to the point that we do not even see the beauty in ourselves.
  5. Placing more importance on the lives of others, with the result that somehow their lives are more important than ours.
  6. Choosing to remain uneducated in a world that offers so much free information.
  7. Failing to take responsibility for our actions and waiting for others to rescue us, while at the same time, not supporting those within us who can help. And then when things don’t work out, we begin to see ourselves as victims.
  8. Doing whatever it takes to make ourselves accepted by others, even if it means an erosion of self-respect.
  9. Trading who we are for who we are not.
  10. Failing to take care of our most vulnerable, our young people and our elders.
  11. Having children and abandoning them financially and emotionally.
  12. Continuing to be conspicuous consumers and not providing a foundation of education, financial literacy and wealth building strategies to our future generations.
  13. Failing to have a written will and other instructions in place for our families when we die.

Eliminate these behaviors and we will all be stronger, happier and more successful people. 

Here are two other articles you may be interested in reading: and


Mary Oluonye.

I am a writer and entrepreneur and my goal is to inspire self-value, promote Africa, and help people achieve their goals. 

I am deeply committed to inspiring my people to better respect and value who we are as Africans & People of African Descent.

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