Depression is a Sneaky and Dangerous Illness
September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month
Depression is heartbreaking.
In an affluent Cleveland Ohio suburb, depression caused a father and husband to kill his wife and their two children, 15-year old twins, a boy and a girl, in an apparent murder-suicide.
In another nearby city, the same thing happened, only this time three children were killed.
And in yet another incident, a depressed young mother took her life after she killed her 4 year-old daughter.
It’s so sad to think of what the last moments of those who died must have been like.
For one person it was choice, but for the others, the final and catastrophic decision was made for them by a loved one. They had no say in the decision that took their life.
A Deadly Combination of Factors
People are suffering from anxiety and stress at unprecedented levels. Look at what we are dealing with now. A pandemic, social isolation, dwindling finances, uncertain housing, unpaid bills, racial tension, global unrest, increasing violence, hostility and domestic violence.
For people already feeling depressed, these factors are enough to push them over the edge.
Each day it seems that I hear of yet another death. The obituaries describe it as a sudden passing. And then I find out later, quietly, almost in a hushed way, that it was death by suicide.
Depression is killing people. It is a disease and the people suffering the most from this disease during these times are younger adults, essential workers and other caretakers, and members of racial minorities.
My Own Brush with Depression
People see me today as confident, content, adventurous, easy-going, and so on and so forth, but there was a time about 25 years ago when I was not feeling any of that.
But that’s what makes depression so insidious. I was suffering from it and did not know even know it.
I felt nothing dramatic. In fact, I felt “ normal.” I just didn’t quite care too much about anything. I was simply detached from everyone and everything except my family and my son. Especially my son.
I was just going through the motions and pushing through life and being present for my son. Other than that, life held no particular appeal. I could take it or leave it. No big deal.
My sisters noticed the change in my demeanor. If not for them, I don’t know what might have happened down the line. One day, they bought me a vacation package and sent me to the Bahamas.
That trip was the turning point for me. Specifically, the bus tour of Grand Bahama Island. I was looking out the window and listening to the tour guide saying something about a house formerly owned by Sammy Davis.
But I wasn’t interested in all of that. What captured my attention, and held me enthralled, was the sun’s play of light on the passing scenery, including the flowers, trees, grass and even the ground. Nature.
I distinctly remember the sensation of a shifting within me, sort of like a load being lifted. Without a doubt, I knew that everything was going to be okay. Because in that moment, I reconnected with what I call my core. The core of who I am.
That reconnection was exactly the impetus I needed to put me back on the right path for me.
So when I got back home, I made an appointment to see a doctor who diagnosed me as being clinically depressed. He prescribed some medication and recommended talk therapy. I was okay with taking medicine for awhile and after some time, I was able to discontinue the medication, and have never needed it again.
These are particularly challenging times
Depression and death by suicide are on the rise.
I never felt suicidal. Not ever. But I think I have an idea of how easy it could be for a person to lose all interest to live.
Notice when someone you know is behaving in a way that causes you a little prickle of anxiety when you think of them. Listen to your gut instinct. You may sense that something is wrong even before it becomes apparent. Say or do something even if outward impressions indicate otherwise.
Many people who are depressed hide it well. They hide behind a facade because they may feel like a failure and are ashamed, because let’s face it, society often looks upon mental illness as some sort of stigma.
Sometimes a depressed or suicidal person is someone you’d never suspect. It is someone who seems to have it all together.
So if you feel that someone is in trouble, don’t second-guess yourself. Depression is a sneaky adversary. It lulls people into complacency.
Talk to the person. It’s okay to ask how they are feeling, probe a little even, and listen to what is being said, and more importantly, listen to what is not being said. Just listen and absolutely do not judge or try to tell them not to feel the way that they are feeling.
Reach out to someone. It may make all the difference. Here are some resources to be aware of and to share if necessary.
Text: Text “Hello” to 741741
Blaxit:
Black Americans Exit America
Blaxit is the word used to describe the latest migration of Black people in America to other countries. In this article, I use the term Black people to refer to African Americans and People of African Descent.
Past migrations
This is not the first time that Black people in America have migrated en masse. After slavery in America ended in 1865, Black people moved steadily from the American south to the north.
Why? They moved because the north represented freedom from the extreme violence and oppression that continued to exist in the south after slavery.
Black people began moving in the late1800s which led to two waves of Great Migrations. By the end of the second Great Migration in 1970, six million Black people had left the south.
Ironically, Black people in America are still searching for that seemingly elusive safety and promising future.
Blaxit in a nutshell
Brexit, the term used for withdrawal of the UK from the European Union, was modified to Blaxit in 2016 by Ulysses Burley III to describe the exit of Black people from America.
Blaxit in a nutshell, is the growing movement of Black people leaving America in search of friendly, welcoming countries where it is less stressful, less racist, less violent and less murderous than America.
Where Black people are going
Some people have already decided that their new home will be in an African country and Ghana, The Gambia, South Africa, and Tanzania are some popular choices.
Others are looking to countries such as Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, Panama, and as far away as Australia and New Zealand.
Not for everyone
But Blaxiting is not for everyone. For many it’s not so clear cut. Sometimes making a choice to leave America means leaving family behind because not all family members want to leave.
Some make the heart-wrenching decision to leave anyway and resolve to return to America periodically to visit family.
And for many others, the very idea of leaving America permanently is unthinkable. They are Americans. America is their home and no one is going to make them feel like they have to leave their own country.
Blaxiting is the best option for some people, but not for others. For those who choose the Blaxit journey, the key to success is to do your research and then make the informed decision that is best for you.
Pets are Tested for the Coronavirus and One Black Woman is Denied the Test Twice & Dies
I watched the evening news on April 28th, 2020. Of course the news was all about the Coronavirus Pandemic.
The news anchor recounted the story of a 30 year old black woman who went to the hospital on two occasions because she was feeling sick, and was twice denied the test for the coronavirus. She died. The story was extremely brief. In fact, if you had looked away from the screen for a moment, you might have missed it.
Moments later, the news anchor reported on another story, this time about a family of four who had been tested for the coronavirus and were all doing well. And that was a good thing. Footage showed the white family looking healthy and happy. And because members of the family had tested positive for the virus, it was decided to test the family pet as well. The result was positive. The first dog in America to test positive for the virus.
A continuation of this same story aired the next morning on another TV show. The focus was on protecting our furry pets from becoming infected with the coronavirus. Watching the story, I further learned that Duke University administered the test to the pets as part of a study it had been conducting. In all, three pets were tested. The family’s two dogs and one cat.
Each story had its own merit, but here’s the thing. African-Americans, People of Color, and People living in poverty are dying of Covid-19 complications at incredibly disproportionate rates. By now we all know why.
But here you have these two stories airing one after the other, and apparently no one at the television newsroom thought of the insensitivity, or the incongruity of reporting on the death of a young black woman, who most likely died due to late diagnosis because she was not given the test for the coronavirus in time, juxtaposed against the story of a white family of 4 and their 3 pets all having received the test.
This seemingly small but significant oversight speaks volumes and is frustrating and disheartening, to say the least. These everyday slights reveal a certain view, conscious or not, that a black life is not as highly valued as a white life or even that of a furry family pet.
Rana Zoe Mangin was a beloved daughter and sister. A 2011 Wellesley College Graduate (Psychology), and University of Massachusetts Graduate (MFA). A cherished educator and role model, she taught social studies at Bushwick Ascend Middle School in New York. A beautiful human being and loved by many, she died at 12:25 pm on April 27, 2020. Cause of death, complications due to Covid-19.
This deadly Pandemic has reminded me of the crucial need for us, as black people, to become stronger, healthier, and more financially successful and independent so that we are in a better position to take control over what happens to us.
That means doing more for ourselves by ourselves and not counting on anyone to come to our rescue. Because when it comes to a crisis, it is painfully obvious that we the Black People, People of Color, and People living in poverty are the last to get access to quality healthcare and that includes testing, treatment and positive outcomes.
If or when a vaccine is developed and available, you can add it to the list of treatment that Black people, People of Color and People living in poverty will not have equal access to.
In spite of its ideals, America is an inherently racist country. But it’s not only America. The devaluation and disrespect of Black lives is a global disease.
Like the Coronavirus Pandemic.
How I Reduced My Migraine Headaches By 90%
Non-Medical Migraine Relief & More Headache Free Days
Sometimes my migraine headache begins with a slight headache that lurks around my left temple, or my right temple. It’s one or the other. Never both. At first I think, then hope, then pray that it’s a sinus headache, because sometimes it’s just that. A sinus headache.
But then, in a matter of hours, the pain intensifies to an insistent painful throbbing at the temple, but now there is the added sensation of being stabbed in one or both eyes.
At other times, the headache comes on fast and hard. I have a 30-second to one minute warning. During this short time, black dots bounce around in my line of vision and my peripheral vision is practically non-existent. Worse yet, there are jagged wavy lines around the edges of everything. This is the aura that precedes some migraines right before it hits. When there is an aura, I know that the oncoming migraine is going to be particularly vicious.
Sounds terrible? It is. I’m not alone. According to the Migraine Research Foundation, 39 million Americans suffer from migraine headaches. Worldwide, the number is closer to a billion.
I have lived with migraines for most of my life. Some lasting for hours, others for days. I can tell you that life is tough having to go through hour after hour of pain while still trying to continue on with everything I have to do. Because life does not stop just because I am in pain, intense or not.
I take my physician prescribed medication when I have the very bad migraines. I don’t like taking the pills, but I am never without them. Because I dislike the side effects so much, I will sometimes weigh the pain of the migraine versus the side effects and then choose. Most of the time the medication wins out.
But over time, I have found ways to reduce the number of migraines I have. So much so that I have reduced the incidence of migraines by about 90%. Seriously. Nothing magical, but more like a combination of things I tried out. Things that worked.
I am not a doctor or any kind of health care practitioner. I’m just a fellow migraine sufferer who has found a few ways to reduce her migraine headaches.
Here are the 8 things I do that help reduce the number migraines I have, in no particular order.
- Drink Water. I find that if I don’t drink enough water each day, it will catch up with me, sooner or later. When I have migraines, I envision that I need to stay hydrated and get rid of any toxins that may have built up. So, I drink more water than usual. As soon as I feel a headache beginning, I start drinking more water. At least 6 big glasses of water a day.
- Caffeine. I read that caffeine can work in two contradictory ways. One, it can give you a headache and two, it can help with headaches. When I have a headache, I will try anything. I find that if I catch the headache early enough, caffeine helps. I will drink several cups of strong coffee trying to head it off. But what works better for me is a drink called, Mountain Dew. Someone once told me that it contained a lot of caffeine. So I drink a lot of it as soon as I feel a migraine starting. Sometimes if I am early enough, I can ward off the headache. If I already have the headache, it helps a bit.
- Eat. When I don’t eat enough, or regularly enough, it can bring on a headache. Sometimes I can get so caught up with the busyness of the day that I forget to eat well. So, I try to have snacks on hand during the day, just in case I do not take the time to have an actual meal. Nuts, fruits, etc.
- Alcohol. Champagne is totally out of the question. If I drink champagne it is 100% guaranteed that I will have a migraine headache. Some red wines will also cause a headache, but I have not figured out exactly which ones.
- Hot Washcloth or Heating Pad. I apply a hot washcloth to my head. Sometimes on top of my head, sometimes on the throbbing side of my head. Sometimes over my face. But what works the best and sometimes eases or stops the migraine is when I apply the heat to the back of my neck and base of my skull.
- Sleep prone in bed. When I don’t get enough sleep, it will catch up with me in the form of a headache.So, I make an effort to make sure to get enough sleep each night. When I have a migraine, sleeping flat or on my left or right side with a pillow under my head simply magnifies the throbbing at my temple. It’s better when I prop up pillows behind my head and back and sleep slightly sitting up.
- Check what I am eating. My doctor told me to keep track of what I was eating in order to identify which foods triggered a headache. Once I became diligent about this, because I was so tired of having migraines, I noticed that foods with MSG and certain soy products such as some soy based yogurt would trigger a headache. I was surprised that even some of the commercially prepared veggie burgers and other plant based products could trigger it. I experimented to make sure, and once I confirmed it, I completely stopped eating soy yogurt and decreased the number of veggie burgers I ate.
- No Milk. This is the single, most effective thing that worked for me. Once I eliminated milk products from my diet, the number of migraine headaches I had dropped dramatically. I was shocked and happy and I credit it all to a book I read one day, Whitewash: The Disturbing Truth About Cow’s Milk and Your Health, written by Joseph Keon. It was, as Oprah would say, an “aha” moment. Two sentences in the book made me pay particular attention and led to me testing it out. The first sentence was,“ In one study of patients who suffered from migraine headaches and asthma, 33 of 44 patients showed significant improvement after removing all cow’s milk from their diets.” The other sentence stated, “In another study reported in the journal, Lancet, 93% of patients examined were able to free themselves of migraine headaches by eliminating cow’s milk from their diets.” I tried it out after one especially horrible week of unrelenting migraine pain. It was not easy because I love cheese: Macaroni and cheese, Vegetable lasagna, Yogurt with fruit, and most especially my multi-layered Swiss cheese deli sandwiches. But I gave it all up. Cold turkey. Every time I think about giving in and eating a Swiss cheese sandwich, I remember the pain of the migraine, and I won’t touch it. It has been over 5 years now. The desire does not overcome the chance of triggering another vicious migraine headache.
Enjoy More Headache Free Days
So this has been my experience and I hope that something I’ve shared will help you enjoy more days with no pain.
